


Blessed

by Chuui



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: F/M, Humor, Innuendo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-17
Updated: 2014-02-17
Packaged: 2018-01-12 21:04:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1200493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chuui/pseuds/Chuui
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roy Mustang was blessed in more ways than Riza Hawkeye could comprehend. Royai. Oneshot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blessed

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!

Riza Hawkeye placed the last sheet of paperwork in the 'complete' stack and stretched her arms above her head. She made a habit of finishing all of her own paperwork before lunch so that she could spend the rest of the day helping the Colonel with his own, even though his stack was usually not much taller than hers. She glanced over at her superior's desk to notice that he wasn't there; he had left for a workout over two hours saying that he wouldn't be gone for more than an hour, figures. That man would do anything to get out of his clerical duties.

Usually she would send one of the men down to fetch him but for some reason she was the only one in the office at the moment, Havoc had a day off, Breda was out interviewing witnesses for a case they were working, Fuery was out looking for electrical parts and Falman was researching something down in the military library. She groaned to herself, she would have to make the trip down to the gym to get him back up there.

The gym was surprisingly empty at 11 in the morning, only one or two people were making use of the facilities and neither of them was Roy Mustang. Strange, he wouldn't dare leave headquarters without telling her, he didn't hate his work to that extent. She walked towards the locker rooms and peered into the lobby in which the two doors separated the men's and woman's locker rooms.

* * *

Roy Mustang despised the Eastern Headquarters military gym locker rooms. The men's side from his past experience was rarely cleaned, had a funky smell, and was never stocked with basic essentials. After a long workout his tank top had been so drenched in sweat that it was practically see through so he decided to risk catching some sort of infectious disease and actually take a shower in the locker room. Figuring which areas didn't have mold growing on the edges took a few minutes before he decided on what he thought was the cleanest in the bunch and got in. The showerhead leaked water at barely a trickle as it dawned upon him why this one had seemed to be used the least. He turned the handles as far as they could but the pressure but the water was still dripping down at a rate in which it would probably take five minutes to drown a bug.

_Damn it, Riza is going to kill me if I don't get out of here soon._ His anger peaked as his fist slammed down on the shower head so hard it broke clean off, releasing a spray of frigid water up into his face causing him to fall backwards. You would think for the amount of times he'd been sprayed with water at this point he'd e used to it, but that was never going to be the case. The liquid kept spraying out of control around the showering area until he was able to get up and push through the torrents of water and closed the handle shut. _The place needed a good cleaning._ He thought. The shower he decided was not worth it anymore, that spray of water was going to have to do. He inspected the damage he had caused and came to the conclusion that it was nothing to be too concerned about, that was until he saw that his towel had been shot down from the hook were it hung, soaked completely, laying on the shower room floor.

_No._ He walked over to it and lifted it up with the tips of his fingers, just as he suspected, the fact that it was wet was not the issue, but the fact that it had landed right on a patch of mold was what made him certain that it was never going to touch his body ever again. He groaned aloud as he tried to consider his options, there were towels available in the locker room but you would have to be crazy to use those things. They smelled as weird as the whole place and were covered with odd brown and yellow stains he didn't want to think about what caused them. He could wait until he air dried but by that time Riza would probably have reported him missing to headquarters.

That when it hit him, the ladies change room probably had fresh towels. It would have been an understatement to say that there were far more men than women in the military, so he doubted the locker room got used very much on a daily basis. All he had to do was sprint less than 5 metres across the lobby and into the female change room and hope that nobody was in there. He had only seen two people in the gym that entire morning and they were both men, so he assumed that it would be empty as usual.

He took his soaking wet body over to the door, peeked his head out for a second to make sure the coast was clear, and then sprinted towards the ladies locker room. Unfortunately, he didn't notice the blonde-haired women who stuck her head in at just the wrong time.

* * *

Riza had just seen her superior officer, stark naked, soaking wet, run across the room.

At first she thought she had just been imagining things but the pools of water he had left behind spoke otherwise. The door had been situated in which she got a good view of the entire front half of his body as he ran. She knew he was known as one of the most attractive men in Amestris but she had never thought of him like that, he had always been a childhood friend or her superior who she respected in a professional matter, but after that eyeful she just received she felt her cheeks warm up to almost boiling. Yes his bare arms were muscular and absolutely spectacular, yes his chest was chiselled and his abs were very prominent, yes even his legs were toned to perfection, but she felt like the biggest pervert ever because she couldn't keep her eyes off his... nether regions.

Riza wouldn't call herself an expert in any sense of the word, she only knew of the graphic descriptions in those trashy novels she loved to read as a teenager, but they were enough to make her hot and bothered and she was now feeling exactly the same. Roy was _huge_. She covered her face and squealed into her hands, this was completely unlike her. She felt so flustered she could barely walk straight, her mind kept going back to the graphic imagine of Roy now engraved in her mind. She wobbled quickly back up to the office and tried to find something to do to take her mind off what she just saw. _Damn! It was just a part of the human anatomy! Perfectly normal! Abnormally massive! How did it even get that big? No, stop thinking about that! Ugh!_

Her head now just laid on her desk in utter defeat. It was impossible to think about anything else, she just needed to relax and calm down before he came back—

"Lieutenant, you okay?" Roy said as he returned to the office.

Her head shot back up at the sound of his voice and she threw her arm up to salute. "Yes sir, I'm fine!" She looked Roy up and down and he walked towards her desk, her eyes automatically stopping on his lower half. _Oh god, how did I not notice you can practically see it through his... ack! Stop staring at his crotch!_

She hoped her eyes hadn't lingered for too long as she met his gaze once more. He just looked at her with a sort of confused look before muttering an 'at ease' and strolling back over to his desk.

This was crazy, she was a _soldier_ , and she was supposed to have more composure than this. She still couldn't comprehend how it was even possible that...

"Why is my stack so big?" Roy said nonchalantly.

"E-excuse me?"

"My stack of paperwork. It seems as though it's getting bigger and bigger every day! Do they really expect me to finish this all in one sitting?"

_Oh._ "Sir, I don't think it's abnormal for someone of your rank to have this amount to do."

"That's not even true! I've stack Colonel Tomes' stack and it wasn't even half the size of mine."

"Sir, if you just went ahead and actually did your paperwork it would eventually be over with." _Please, please, change the topic._ Her hand was wobbling as she tried to pretend to sign something and keep her head facing downwards, hoping her bangs covered most of her flushed face.

"Those big-shots that send all of this stuff down here are just too lazy to do it themselves, I can finally see the pile starting to go back down and then you drop in with all the papers from upstairs and it shoots right back up!"

Riza's pen slipped from her grasp but she didn't bother to pick it up, instead she just grabbed another and continued to grind the tip against the paper in front of her, not even sure what she was trying to write anymore, she was just trying to calm herself down but the explicit images kept flashing in her brain.

"At the rate I'm going at I'm probably going to be doing it all night long, unless of course I get a hand from my favourite first lieutenant." She could feel his puppy eyes on her without looking up but she couldn't get herself to look towards him. Images circulating around in her mind were getting out of control, she didn't even notice that he had walked over to her chair and leaned his head down to talk to her directly.

"Lieu-ten-ant, anyone in there?" He breathed into her ear, sending chills down her spine. "You going to give me a hand or not?"

She risked turning her head slightly to look at his face, then down his body then... _you're staring at him again Riza! Stop!_ Her head snapped back up as she locked eyes with his, she was sure he could see the blush across her cheeks now.

She stood up abruptly slamming both her hands down on the desk. "I'm g-going to the range!" She half squeaked half yelled.

"But lieutenant, it's almost lunch time..." She breezed out of the office before he could say another word.

She wouldn't be back for the rest of the day.


End file.
